I was reading a blog by agent Irene Goodman a little while ago about good habits for writers and she mentionned that sometimes you just have to get on that bus.

What does it mean?

You work hard at your craft, you do all that you should and you know that you are ready for that small bit of luck that may come your way.

But when it comes, do you actually recognize it? Do you ride it? Are you getting on that bus?

When I had the chance to be an AT finalist, I knew I was close to the big prize. I worked as hard as I could. The night before “the call” or “the email” really, I was ready for a no. I had done absolutely all I could. I went to bed knowing there was not one more thing I could do with the ressources I had.

If I hadn’t make it, I would have had no regrets.

For the things that matter to us, our relationships, our love ones, our passions, it’s good to try to recognize that time. Are we getting on the bus? Giving it our very best? Or are we stepping back, knowing what we should do but being held back by fear, or laziness or perhaps thinking that we’ll have that chance again?

Luck is fickle, it happens only once. Make that call, listen to your child, go deep and address your issues, wake up and write that scene, take charge. Not later, now.

A little more brainstorming of the Steampunk story today and closing in on that title!

Blessed be

I remember when I started writing Ancient Whispers, it was more than a story. It was all of me. My experience, my emotions, all the things that made me go ah. Call it pouring my heart and soul into it.

As I’m in the midst of the sequel, Ancient Secrets, I see what, until recently, I was missing. So far all it was, was a story. Boy meet girl, big battle. But so what?

My father always asked “so what” at the end of his paleontology seminars. So what? What is the point of this? Why should we care?

I think fiction is the same. I think we, the writer, should care, should be so involved that the story of the moment is “the one”, the best one, the one that contains our hopes, our dreams, are pains, our deep thoughts in life, even as we craft love scenes and magical worlds. It should always be our intense vision of the moment.

I guess that’s what I had been missing.

Finished editing my first 4 chapters of Ancient Secrets today, about 40 pages. Hopefully my writing partners will give me their impressions so I can go over it once more before sending it out.

Brainstormed some more on the Steampunk story and came up with some awesome scenes. I’m loving this as well, but I’m still undecided about the title.

Blessed Be.

When was the last time you heard the sound of nothing.
When you could hear the cars drive by from far away. When all there was near you was the buzz still left by the loudness from the crazy around you.

You hear your heart beating, your breath settling. Nothing, nothing at all. Peace. Your body uncoiling, releasing tension slowly, so slowly. You sink into the couch.

And still silence. No shouts, no loud music, no door slamming or things upturned.

Just you, your breathe, nothing.

Blessed Be

(as always visit the artist by clicking on the image above)

Why do we fear?

Today author Gerri Russel wrote a blog about fear and it got me to think of all these fears inside me that can sometimes paralyze me into not taking action.

What really are we afraid off? What will happen? Will someone say no? Or some people will hate the result of our effort, scorn it, made fun of it? Or perhaps someone will be angry at us because we did something against his will?

Will that kill us? Because frankly we can survive a whole lot. But sometimes we forget. We forget how strong we are, we forget our courage.

I’m endebted to author Bob Mayer for bringing me courage. At a workshop in Seattle, he told us that when soldiers were embushed and could not turn back or flee left or center, they had no choice but jump into the battle and fight in order to survive.

Fight may mean different things to different people but sometimes we do need to. Need to face our fears with courage.

I asked him how to built courage and basically the answer is simple. Training. The more you face your fear, the more you do the hard things, the easiest it becomes.

I was telling my little one this morning how I use to be so shy and quiet, each of my report cards came back with a warning to my mom saying I was too reserved. Then even in high school, I was petrified and shook all over just to speak in front of the class.

Later in college I decided to face my fears and learned how to teach aerobics. Now I can address a crowded room without even thinking. I actually enjoy it. I learned tricks and did it over and over for 15 years. This fear of public speaking is long gone.

So what are my fears, your fears and what will we do about them? Where’s our courage?

Edited a few pages of Ancient Secrets today, moving along.

Brightest Blessings…

I spent 5 hrs straight at the coffeeshop today going through my galley proofs of Ancient Whispers and made it through half of the book, 150 pages. Not bad at all for one day.

Later, it occured to me that if I was to spent just 3 hrs a day, everyday writing or editing, I would be able to write, edit and revise 2 books a year. Is this the key to success? That constant discipline?

That how I did fitness, training daily. Of course, I have all my “life” obligation on top of that to fulfill but really 3 hrs. Some people easily watch that much TV a day. Two hours in the morning, one during the day or night. Is that possible? Shall I give it a shot?

Brightest Blessings

(as always find the artist by clicking on the image at the top)

Why do you write they ask? For years and years I wrote to find myself.

How hard it is for me to express verbally what I truly mean and anyway who really does care about my many thoughs. Once I scribble them on paper, I understand things and I can let go.

Years of journaling to understand.

But this sort of sadness always in me that won’t go, I curb it by using the words to transport me into this other world. Because I could not write the real, the mondaine. I do think of it, I do dwell on the big questions our civilization needs to ask but only for a moment. Because to stay there too long causes me extreme pain since I can do so little to help.

And so I carve the stories I want to love, full of powers that are not real, noble sentiments too pure to sustain in the real world. It’s better than any virtual reality created by others, it’s my own world and so private that I can let myself go and shape it’s magic all around me. Yes you may read it, or at least one of those world will be public for now but honestly, that’s just one of the vivid dreams I wanted to live and I have thousands more to come.

Still no revising today and the clock ticks.

Blessed Be

(as always click on the image at the top for the artist info)

And so a lot of amazing things happened since I won the American Title. I had my picture in the RTBOOK review, I gave an acceptance speech in from of a big crowd of writers at RT, I was interviewed for the French evening news in Canada and I have a giant poster of my cover in my bedroom given to me by the publisher.

But nothing, nothing so far can compare to getting my cover flats today. The cover flats are just that, a book cover laid flat. If I fold it, I see the spine with my name on it. And I finally saw the back as well.

And that’s when I was struck with the truth. I am a reader. Ever since I was 4, I read and read and read. I was an only child and spent my youth with my nose in a book. I collected them, piled them up, arranged them neatly in the midst of my chaotic bedroom and always wanted more.

Later I spent hours in libraries and book stores. I idolized writers and had this dream that maybe someday..

I just love books. I love to touch them, search through them, admire their cover, read them. I can’t go anywhere without at least one book. Even in this day and age when I have a few loaded on my iPhone. I do want the real hard thing.

I have a huge “to-be-read” pile.

And today, to see my name on the spine of a book was the most amazing feeling. I just can’t stop looking at it. Gone are the amazon rankings and fear I will never sell another one. I have this book. And it’s perfect with it’s black cover with pink writing, its mysterious and sexy feel, its intriguing lettering, I just love it.

And the Dorchester publicist added this marketing quote to describe my writing “Bourque has a lush and lyrical style that combines the best of Marion Zimmer Bradley and Sherrilyn Kenyon.

How could I not love being compared to my favorite authors.

I am sure seasoned authors get used to this but somehow I don’t think I ever will. To me, a true reader at heart, this magical feeling could never get old.

Brightest Blessings

(for the artist info, please just click on the image)

I wonder how much our self worth and self confidence is influenced by outside force. In the ongoing class I’m taking with author Bob Mayer, he talks about motivation. Somehow, authors on contract may find less pleasure in their writing then those who have no strings.

I don’t know but I have to confess that my latest Amazon ranking got me quite depressed. So much that I questionned whether I had it as a writer and whether anyone would actually buy the book when it comes out.

So in a bit of despair, I pre-ordered a copy of my own book. Well, the ranking shot up way past some other authors at the same level as I am. Well quite the eye opener. So, I had been measuring my self worth against something that can be changed with just one small purchase.

Time to realign my priorities. Hard when you have doubts about how your work will be received. I don’t aim very high, I certainly know that I will never please anyone. Just please a few would be good.

And just as in real life. We can’t please everyone. It’s just so damn hard to admit sometimes.

Blessed Be

(to find the artist of the artwork above, just click on it)

I can’t help but think about how being online so much can affect our spirit. Here we are, sharing our thoughts, sometimes our lifes, what we had for breakfast. And we sent those things out to a faceless world.

Most of the times, people don’t really respond, which is fine. Others times they do with insight and friendship and other times, rarely thought, comments are plain rude or careless. Said just like that, with no thoughts to the consequences.

And when we receive those comments, our heart speed up a little, we frown, wonder, put a huge emphasize on this and bring this home, to our non-cyber life.

It takes a certain courage to be out there on the web, a certain wisdom which I do not yet possess, to know how to balance it all and know where to focus our worries.

And frankly, I don’t think that anyone knows how to do this right. We’re all fumbling in the dark, making somewhat of a mess of it and also a sort of strange magic.

I wonder where it leads.

Blessed Be

1) It was time for me today to do a bit of brainstorming for the Steampunk story. I wrote the first act already but it was time to put on paper all the thoughts that have been swimming in my head. After I had spent an hour or so with my notebook, I came back for air and told my sons that this would be the best story ever. I don’t care if it doesn’t sell, one day they’ll read it (when they’re old enough for the sexy bits) and that’s what counts. I just need to put this down on paper, for me, for them. They helped me with the final title but I shall still call it Axiom of Depth out here in cyberspace.

2) because I had the kids at home today, editing Ancient Secrets was tricky. I did manage a little of it. Staring at the words on the screen for ever. I decided to cut a whole scene to speed things up. I’m trying to learn from my mistakes with the first book. Trying to get the story moving faster. I’m glad I did. Taking away that scene changes nothing. One rule of writing, if it’s not needed, take it out!

3) I’m still working on branding with Theresa Meyers. Trying to find images that matches what my writing is about. I discovered that the sensual part would be well represented by curling ivy. I always loved that design, even wanted to have it tatooed on one side of my waist and lower back along with a fleur-de-lys when my father died. Too bad I never did. It would have been fitting.

The mystical could be a full moon. Oh how I like the one on my cover art. Like always when I’m stumped, I need to let the ideas seep in my brain for a while, see what comes up.

4) I’ve finished an 8th Georgette Heyer novel in a row. I don’t read much romance but those Regencies are just too much fun and so well written. Nothing beat a well written book. But now I’m stuck, what to read next?

Brightest Blessings