I remember when I started writing Ancient Whispers, it was more than a story. It was all of me. My experience, my emotions, all the things that made me go ah. Call it pouring my heart and soul into it.

As I’m in the midst of the sequel, Ancient Secrets, I see what, until recently, I was missing. So far all it was, was a story. Boy meet girl, big battle. But so what?

My father always asked “so what” at the end of his paleontology seminars. So what? What is the point of this? Why should we care?

I think fiction is the same. I think we, the writer, should care, should be so involved that the story of the moment is “the one”, the best one, the one that contains our hopes, our dreams, are pains, our deep thoughts in life, even as we craft love scenes and magical worlds. It should always be our intense vision of the moment.

I guess that’s what I had been missing.

Finished editing my first 4 chapters of Ancient Secrets today, about 40 pages. Hopefully my writing partners will give me their impressions so I can go over it once more before sending it out.

Brainstormed some more on the Steampunk story and came up with some awesome scenes. I’m loving this as well, but I’m still undecided about the title.

Blessed Be.

Why do we fear?

Today author Gerri Russel wrote a blog about fear and it got me to think of all these fears inside me that can sometimes paralyze me into not taking action.

What really are we afraid off? What will happen? Will someone say no? Or some people will hate the result of our effort, scorn it, made fun of it? Or perhaps someone will be angry at us because we did something against his will?

Will that kill us? Because frankly we can survive a whole lot. But sometimes we forget. We forget how strong we are, we forget our courage.

I’m endebted to author Bob Mayer for bringing me courage. At a workshop in Seattle, he told us that when soldiers were embushed and could not turn back or flee left or center, they had no choice but jump into the battle and fight in order to survive.

Fight may mean different things to different people but sometimes we do need to. Need to face our fears with courage.

I asked him how to built courage and basically the answer is simple. Training. The more you face your fear, the more you do the hard things, the easiest it becomes.

I was telling my little one this morning how I use to be so shy and quiet, each of my report cards came back with a warning to my mom saying I was too reserved. Then even in high school, I was petrified and shook all over just to speak in front of the class.

Later in college I decided to face my fears and learned how to teach aerobics. Now I can address a crowded room without even thinking. I actually enjoy it. I learned tricks and did it over and over for 15 years. This fear of public speaking is long gone.

So what are my fears, your fears and what will we do about them? Where’s our courage?

Edited a few pages of Ancient Secrets today, moving along.

Brightest Blessings…

1) It was time for me today to do a bit of brainstorming for the Steampunk story. I wrote the first act already but it was time to put on paper all the thoughts that have been swimming in my head. After I had spent an hour or so with my notebook, I came back for air and told my sons that this would be the best story ever. I don’t care if it doesn’t sell, one day they’ll read it (when they’re old enough for the sexy bits) and that’s what counts. I just need to put this down on paper, for me, for them. They helped me with the final title but I shall still call it Axiom of Depth out here in cyberspace.

2) because I had the kids at home today, editing Ancient Secrets was tricky. I did manage a little of it. Staring at the words on the screen for ever. I decided to cut a whole scene to speed things up. I’m trying to learn from my mistakes with the first book. Trying to get the story moving faster. I’m glad I did. Taking away that scene changes nothing. One rule of writing, if it’s not needed, take it out!

3) I’m still working on branding with Theresa Meyers. Trying to find images that matches what my writing is about. I discovered that the sensual part would be well represented by curling ivy. I always loved that design, even wanted to have it tatooed on one side of my waist and lower back along with a fleur-de-lys when my father died. Too bad I never did. It would have been fitting.

The mystical could be a full moon. Oh how I like the one on my cover art. Like always when I’m stumped, I need to let the ideas seep in my brain for a while, see what comes up.

4) I’ve finished an 8th Georgette Heyer novel in a row. I don’t read much romance but those Regencies are just too much fun and so well written. Nothing beat a well written book. But now I’m stuck, what to read next?

Brightest Blessings

1) Nothing done on Ancient Secrets today. I find it harder and harder to get up in the morning and do some editing. It’s fine to up curl up with a notebook and a pen but the whole process of turning on the laptop at 5:30 am feels too tough. I’ve done it before, so I’ll have to try harder.

2) I’m currently taking 2 online class, one with Bob Mayer on the writing industry and one with Theresa Meyer on author branding. Well, a third came my way and I couldn’t pass it so tomorrow I’m starting a class on myth and themes in writing. Since I’m always looking for the big picture in life, Im really looking toward to this.

3) Today, Valentines Day, what can I say.. A long time ago I got dumped on this day. It’s been so long that I forget but I can’t help wonder about those days that are so hard for people who are alone.

I question the wisdom of observing a day that makes other unhappy. In my youth, those set holidays were full of family gathering with music and lots of food. Now it’s basically what I make of it, which still is not a bad thing.

4) I’m expecting a print version of Ancient Whispers galleys tomorrow. Can’t wait!

5) As always, the artist who made the artwork above can be found by clicking on the image.

Blessed Be

And so it is, I got my galleys today in PDF format

It’s quite incredible to see your book for the first time, with the set font, all pages and chapter heading. It’s so real now, and so scary!

Scary because I don’t know if I’m prepared for anyone to read and critique it.

I’m almost too scared to read it.

I’ve read the front piece excerpt and it is such a sexy part of the book, I wasn’t prepared for that. It’s right out of the scene that help me win the last round of the American Title and I had almost forgotten that scene.

I work so hard at making the magic and action believable that I don’t pay much attention to the love scenes.

But apparently it’s worth being put as a tease for the book.

And why not?

I’ve finished the deep edits of the prologue of Ancient Secrets today and I must say I really like it. let’s hope my writing partners do as well.

Blessed Be

It’s been a while since I wrote something here. I’m hiding away from Ancient Secrets. The truth is that even though I actually finish the whole first draft, I am paralyzed to go back and edit the first three chapters.

Will it sell? Will the editor and agent like it? It kills me to have to think like that.

Oh I know I shouldn’t complain but it’s really hard for me to just enjoy the story and not worry.

But I was close today. I reread the beginning and totally loved it. I kept on reading all 80 pages and was sad the rest was not typed yet. It’s good. It moves fast. I’m in love with my hero.

It took me a while to really see him in my head. I was still thinking about Gabriel. But now he’s fully there, Phoebus Callan, a cross between Halle Berry’s boyfriend Gabriel Aubry and the late Kurt Cobain, both sophisticated and raw.

I’ve been working with author/publicist Theresa Meyer on what my writing was all about and this is what we came up with: sensual, gritty and mystical.

I like that because it truly shows how I write. A strange combination but really there will always have this sensual feel cohexisting with the gritty. And even though I don’t always write magic, there is always a mystical tone to the story.

On that let’s hope I can focus and edit tomorrow because I’m dying to see what my writing partners will have to say about this new story of the Priory of Callan.

I’ve been sick with a cold for two days now so I’m not making much sense but I’ve got to think about how I approach most projects in small steps. That’s how I did pretty much everything in my life including writing my first manuscript and finish my PhD thesis.

I’ve been so caught up trying to do it all that I had forgotten how to take things in small steps, one at a time.

Yet yesterday and today, I did just that. Small steps, no to do lists or schedule and the funniest thing is that I managed to do a whole lot in two days without trying very hard.

Just one little thing after another.

I think I need to think a little more about that.

Working on the prologue of Ancient Secrets today and revisiting some French history for it. Fascinating. I actually don’t hate research when it’s about something I like!

Brightest Blessings especially for Imbolc tomorrow for those who observe the turning of the wheel.

So strange to be spending a whole week-end mainly cut out from the web (the iPhone made a trip to the toilet –clean toilet– then into a ziploc full of rice for 48 hours). It was impossible to post anything here but I had lots of time to think.

This constant checking email, Twitter, ect does cut into long uninterupted time to think. I can’t say it was productive but I seemed to have rested because today, despite having a cold, I got a lot of stuff done.

Among them was to finalize my bookmark/cards ect with a designer and I am proud to showcase the front of the bookcard here (back will be for tomorrow). These are business card size. Did I mention I think I’m In love with my designer?

I can’t wait to see those on paper!

I wish I could say it was good or enlightening or something like that not to have a phone but I still found ways to be anti-social and neurotic anyway! I read! I’m still on my Georgette Heyer binge.

Yet today I finally wrote the last two scenes I need for my proposal, so onwards to edit tomorrow! If the cold lets me.

We had a wonderful guest today at musetracks. Deborah Schneider made a big writing carreer comeback after years of not writing. Very inspiring.

Blessed Be

So today I wrote (not typed yet because I write longhand)… the end to Ancient Secrets. I’m a bit worried about the end that came to me this morning because a lot of lose ends get tied in a full-flegde love scene. Oh well, I can’t escape it, I write sexy. For now this ending shall stay.

It’s the end, but is it really? In truth, Ancient Whispers (book one) got finished last week. To me anyway. Copy edits are being done and I can’t change anything beside tiny fixes. So for me, that book is done done done.

But Secrets? I still have to write the prologue tomorrow and a scene in chapter two. I need those for my proposal which should include real edited/tight writing. So I’m not done.

And even if it doesn’t sell, I’m still inclined to type the whole thing up. Right now I only have about 1/3 on the laptop. If it sells, I still have to do many edits, and add details and settings and whatnot.

So done? Well sort of.

Blessed Be

I used to joke that I’d only do exercise if you’d pay me good money. The truth was that yes for 15 years I’d get paid each time I led a fitness class and I had a built in motivation right there. I’d need to be throwing up or something worse not to get out there and teach.

I did it with hungovers, 100 degrees fevers, shingle, injuries, with a lost voice and through pregnancy, sometimes up to 3 classes a day.

Then I moved and didn’t go back to my fitness job and found myself now sluggish and of course overweight.

What I have discounted was the fact that exercise gives me energy which in turns feeds my creativity.

Well I’ve been running again.

I sent a six page marketing plan to Dorchester today and I had to stop myself even though I was still getting tons of ideas for fun events. Then I wrote my 1.3K and again ton of ideas flew to me, I also found the title for my Steampunk story with tons of story thread. And wrote tons on writing yahoo loops.

I’m finding this passion for life again. All this from small morning runs.

No need to pay me now, I’ll go take that half-hour and get moving. the benefits are just way too good to pass.