I remember when I started writing Ancient Whispers, it was more than a story. It was all of me. My experience, my emotions, all the things that made me go ah. Call it pouring my heart and soul into it.

As I’m in the midst of the sequel, Ancient Secrets, I see what, until recently, I was missing. So far all it was, was a story. Boy meet girl, big battle. But so what?

My father always asked “so what” at the end of his paleontology seminars. So what? What is the point of this? Why should we care?

I think fiction is the same. I think we, the writer, should care, should be so involved that the story of the moment is “the one”, the best one, the one that contains our hopes, our dreams, are pains, our deep thoughts in life, even as we craft love scenes and magical worlds. It should always be our intense vision of the moment.

I guess that’s what I had been missing.

Finished editing my first 4 chapters of Ancient Secrets today, about 40 pages. Hopefully my writing partners will give me their impressions so I can go over it once more before sending it out.

Brainstormed some more on the Steampunk story and came up with some awesome scenes. I’m loving this as well, but I’m still undecided about the title.

Blessed Be.

I spent 5 hrs straight at the coffeeshop today going through my galley proofs of Ancient Whispers and made it through half of the book, 150 pages. Not bad at all for one day.

Later, it occured to me that if I was to spent just 3 hrs a day, everyday writing or editing, I would be able to write, edit and revise 2 books a year. Is this the key to success? That constant discipline?

That how I did fitness, training daily. Of course, I have all my “life” obligation on top of that to fulfill but really 3 hrs. Some people easily watch that much TV a day. Two hours in the morning, one during the day or night. Is that possible? Shall I give it a shot?

Brightest Blessings

(as always find the artist by clicking on the image at the top)

And so a lot of amazing things happened since I won the American Title. I had my picture in the RTBOOK review, I gave an acceptance speech in from of a big crowd of writers at RT, I was interviewed for the French evening news in Canada and I have a giant poster of my cover in my bedroom given to me by the publisher.

But nothing, nothing so far can compare to getting my cover flats today. The cover flats are just that, a book cover laid flat. If I fold it, I see the spine with my name on it. And I finally saw the back as well.

And that’s when I was struck with the truth. I am a reader. Ever since I was 4, I read and read and read. I was an only child and spent my youth with my nose in a book. I collected them, piled them up, arranged them neatly in the midst of my chaotic bedroom and always wanted more.

Later I spent hours in libraries and book stores. I idolized writers and had this dream that maybe someday..

I just love books. I love to touch them, search through them, admire their cover, read them. I can’t go anywhere without at least one book. Even in this day and age when I have a few loaded on my iPhone. I do want the real hard thing.

I have a huge “to-be-read” pile.

And today, to see my name on the spine of a book was the most amazing feeling. I just can’t stop looking at it. Gone are the amazon rankings and fear I will never sell another one. I have this book. And it’s perfect with it’s black cover with pink writing, its mysterious and sexy feel, its intriguing lettering, I just love it.

And the Dorchester publicist added this marketing quote to describe my writing “Bourque has a lush and lyrical style that combines the best of Marion Zimmer Bradley and Sherrilyn Kenyon.

How could I not love being compared to my favorite authors.

I am sure seasoned authors get used to this but somehow I don’t think I ever will. To me, a true reader at heart, this magical feeling could never get old.

Brightest Blessings

(for the artist info, please just click on the image)

I wonder how much our self worth and self confidence is influenced by outside force. In the ongoing class I’m taking with author Bob Mayer, he talks about motivation. Somehow, authors on contract may find less pleasure in their writing then those who have no strings.

I don’t know but I have to confess that my latest Amazon ranking got me quite depressed. So much that I questionned whether I had it as a writer and whether anyone would actually buy the book when it comes out.

So in a bit of despair, I pre-ordered a copy of my own book. Well, the ranking shot up way past some other authors at the same level as I am. Well quite the eye opener. So, I had been measuring my self worth against something that can be changed with just one small purchase.

Time to realign my priorities. Hard when you have doubts about how your work will be received. I don’t aim very high, I certainly know that I will never please anyone. Just please a few would be good.

And just as in real life. We can’t please everyone. It’s just so damn hard to admit sometimes.

Blessed Be

(to find the artist of the artwork above, just click on it)

1) It was time for me today to do a bit of brainstorming for the Steampunk story. I wrote the first act already but it was time to put on paper all the thoughts that have been swimming in my head. After I had spent an hour or so with my notebook, I came back for air and told my sons that this would be the best story ever. I don’t care if it doesn’t sell, one day they’ll read it (when they’re old enough for the sexy bits) and that’s what counts. I just need to put this down on paper, for me, for them. They helped me with the final title but I shall still call it Axiom of Depth out here in cyberspace.

2) because I had the kids at home today, editing Ancient Secrets was tricky. I did manage a little of it. Staring at the words on the screen for ever. I decided to cut a whole scene to speed things up. I’m trying to learn from my mistakes with the first book. Trying to get the story moving faster. I’m glad I did. Taking away that scene changes nothing. One rule of writing, if it’s not needed, take it out!

3) I’m still working on branding with Theresa Meyers. Trying to find images that matches what my writing is about. I discovered that the sensual part would be well represented by curling ivy. I always loved that design, even wanted to have it tatooed on one side of my waist and lower back along with a fleur-de-lys when my father died. Too bad I never did. It would have been fitting.

The mystical could be a full moon. Oh how I like the one on my cover art. Like always when I’m stumped, I need to let the ideas seep in my brain for a while, see what comes up.

4) I’ve finished an 8th Georgette Heyer novel in a row. I don’t read much romance but those Regencies are just too much fun and so well written. Nothing beat a well written book. But now I’m stuck, what to read next?

Brightest Blessings

1) Nothing done on Ancient Secrets today. I find it harder and harder to get up in the morning and do some editing. It’s fine to up curl up with a notebook and a pen but the whole process of turning on the laptop at 5:30 am feels too tough. I’ve done it before, so I’ll have to try harder.

2) I’m currently taking 2 online class, one with Bob Mayer on the writing industry and one with Theresa Meyer on author branding. Well, a third came my way and I couldn’t pass it so tomorrow I’m starting a class on myth and themes in writing. Since I’m always looking for the big picture in life, Im really looking toward to this.

3) Today, Valentines Day, what can I say.. A long time ago I got dumped on this day. It’s been so long that I forget but I can’t help wonder about those days that are so hard for people who are alone.

I question the wisdom of observing a day that makes other unhappy. In my youth, those set holidays were full of family gathering with music and lots of food. Now it’s basically what I make of it, which still is not a bad thing.

4) I’m expecting a print version of Ancient Whispers galleys tomorrow. Can’t wait!

5) As always, the artist who made the artwork above can be found by clicking on the image.

Blessed Be

And so it is, I got my galleys today in PDF format

It’s quite incredible to see your book for the first time, with the set font, all pages and chapter heading. It’s so real now, and so scary!

Scary because I don’t know if I’m prepared for anyone to read and critique it.

I’m almost too scared to read it.

I’ve read the front piece excerpt and it is such a sexy part of the book, I wasn’t prepared for that. It’s right out of the scene that help me win the last round of the American Title and I had almost forgotten that scene.

I work so hard at making the magic and action believable that I don’t pay much attention to the love scenes.

But apparently it’s worth being put as a tease for the book.

And why not?

I’ve finished the deep edits of the prologue of Ancient Secrets today and I must say I really like it. let’s hope my writing partners do as well.

Blessed Be

So strange to be spending a whole week-end mainly cut out from the web (the iPhone made a trip to the toilet –clean toilet– then into a ziploc full of rice for 48 hours). It was impossible to post anything here but I had lots of time to think.

This constant checking email, Twitter, ect does cut into long uninterupted time to think. I can’t say it was productive but I seemed to have rested because today, despite having a cold, I got a lot of stuff done.

Among them was to finalize my bookmark/cards ect with a designer and I am proud to showcase the front of the bookcard here (back will be for tomorrow). These are business card size. Did I mention I think I’m In love with my designer?

I can’t wait to see those on paper!

I wish I could say it was good or enlightening or something like that not to have a phone but I still found ways to be anti-social and neurotic anyway! I read! I’m still on my Georgette Heyer binge.

Yet today I finally wrote the last two scenes I need for my proposal, so onwards to edit tomorrow! If the cold lets me.

We had a wonderful guest today at musetracks. Deborah Schneider made a big writing carreer comeback after years of not writing. Very inspiring.

Blessed Be

So today I wrote (not typed yet because I write longhand)… the end to Ancient Secrets. I’m a bit worried about the end that came to me this morning because a lot of lose ends get tied in a full-flegde love scene. Oh well, I can’t escape it, I write sexy. For now this ending shall stay.

It’s the end, but is it really? In truth, Ancient Whispers (book one) got finished last week. To me anyway. Copy edits are being done and I can’t change anything beside tiny fixes. So for me, that book is done done done.

But Secrets? I still have to write the prologue tomorrow and a scene in chapter two. I need those for my proposal which should include real edited/tight writing. So I’m not done.

And even if it doesn’t sell, I’m still inclined to type the whole thing up. Right now I only have about 1/3 on the laptop. If it sells, I still have to do many edits, and add details and settings and whatnot.

So done? Well sort of.

Blessed Be

So tired today, too tired to write anything except that Ancient Secrets is very close to be done and that I have a marketing plan drawn out for Ancient Whispers. The latter was easy, yet draining.

And I got a second invitation to talk about marketing to a local writers group. I can’t seem to escape the label. I don’t mind though, I was flattered and said yes. I’m very much looking forward to it.

Blessed Be